Years later I can still smell the fresh-fallen rain on their patio and taste the buttered corn on the cob from their grill. But again, I was at a loss for words. Recently a friend of mine alerted me to a post on Yik Yak about hickeys and how they are gross and make people "afraid you are diseased whenever they see you” and another user commented about the dangers of hickeys: "The blood clots can travel to your heart and cause a heart attack.” "I haven't had a young man's cock in me for such a long time," mother cooed as I began to work my hips, sliding my cock back and forth inside of her. I was like the heroine in a horror movie. I make it and break it, make it and break it. That’s how you made me feel always. You send yet another message. I popped open my paint container and tried to draw a heart near her collar. No one was there to listen to him, the priest knew, but to get to the good stuff they had to get through him first. That night, I found myself at the bottom of a flight of stairs, standing in front of an old wooden door. Unquestionably, it’s suffocating her. We entered the elevator and I closed my eyes, determined to put this behind me and get some work done. Speak up, ask for more, say no to anything that pulls you down, and spend time on things that help you grow. That is how you ruin your life. The woman slowly submerged her head back underwater and didn’t come back up. I climbed into his bed and turned off the light. He did. It’s a brutal, silent fight that only the person living through it can even begin to explain, if they’re able to at all. I felt so guilty still. Then I saw it, this small hole in the wall. Without a clear path the entire forest looked exactly the same no matter where she turned. "Oh, that feels nice," she crooned. I write these words for no other reason but to hold myself accountable. Now, I completely understand why I had to go through all the heartaches and why I had to wait. Mary, Fucking Mary. With a simple movement, a line was severed inside of us and tied around a completely new idea. “I’m a mess,” I say. Text me when you’re headed home. It hit me suddenly that I could hear sounds– crickets chirping, the coo of an owl. The bride smiled at him. And much more. This unique region of the brain is only activated when we see or experience completely new things. And yet, I believed him when he spoke. I still can’t.”. Travel to places that you never imagined, discover what makes up your soul, and just enjoy the journey it takes to get there. My coworker, Leena, leaned against the stone building. Coating the floor. I became aware we were both panting as we eyed each other, wondering what would happen next. We are still worthy, no matter what we may be going through. I rolled down the window, and a big bright light shined into my face. This is hard, but you were their guinea pig. I had to rush her to the vet for emergency surgery. Dark hair, falling to his shoulders in soft waves. Jaune crashed back to earth, heart-pounding and chest heaving as it felt like every ounce of strength had been sucked from him, literally. I knew Mukund was gone. “But I won’t.”, “You will. You should make sure she knows how much you appreciate her — and not only when you’re alone. Love is when my big brother started working at 15 years old, sacrificing his own teenage years to earn enough money and provide me all of the material things that my little heart longed for because he couldn’t stand seeing me not get the toys I wanted because of an economic disparity. Fast forward to my next relationship. We may not have the same opportunities, but I will always hope that your mind and kindness can help you see straight toward your future. He had joined – enlisted as it were – on a dare after too many beers and after listening to more bullshit tales than he could take as a bartender to the SEALS who stopped through his bar while training in Coronado. Happiness is found within the stars in the sky, the knowing that each one has their own story to tell. “You seriously didn’t hear me screaming for help?” Tanya sat in a chair on their back patio while Ronak cleaned her injured knees and elbows. A cold chill shot up Tanya’s spine. So when we could hear our parents snoring from their rooms, we snuck out to the dock and boarded the small boat. But the apartment wasn’t clean, I thought about the dishes from my dinner in the sink, my clothes everywhere, and — sickeningly, the used condom I discovered. It only got worse as I went into my teenage years. Because she deserves that. Yes, reaching success requires effort. You wouldn’t want me to have to arrest you, would you?” I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. The Moon, the stars and the entire dark sky, constantly gazing towards you,But you slept by making yourself their due…! Mukund immediately caught on that something was tailing us because he also submerged his head for a few moments to see what was after us. You are not greater than the person you used to be, either. The glimmer of truth we can gather from this reality is that there is no “destination happiness”. You be the cause of sun’s shining, moon’s glowing and twinkling of the stars.You are the one; I fall the most for and also my heart’s secret superstar! Where are you?” In a panic, Tanya began to run. I saw Niki start to cry in my peripheral vision. They weren’t sleeping when we were playing but when I yelled for help they were passed out. I went home crying. I don’t think I miss her anymore or is it just that me and my head are pretending this to each other ?I haven’t completely stopped thinking about you. She was my best friend. In case, you know that your partner would be extremely humiliated at having a visible hickey. Next time you’re speaking to someone, try to experience the depths of their lives through their eyes. A blue Honda Civic – just like mine. You see, one day, you are going to realize that happiness is about appreciating the little things. Ronak held Pragati’s head so it wouldn’t bounce as he jogged slowly back down the street. “Forget it, we can talk about it later if you want, let’s just go on a walk.”. I can no longer go on toughening up my exterior, thickening up my skin without giving a fuck. Thinking that’s one of those things required for living. Almost directly in front of them sat a boy and a girl, maybe 16 (if that), their faces inches from the other’s, their hands on each other’s bodies, the adults pretending not to notice. Your mental illness wants to control what you can and can’t do. There was a kid trying to climb up the oak tree in the distance – and a mother running towards the tree, shouting. You see, depression drains you. When she opens her eyes, she glances not at me, but behind me, through the now open apartment door. I know I won’t change in an instant, and at times, you’ll still be the one I’ll be listening to. In our lives we girls are surrounded by men most off the time. She said I couldn’t but she could make a note in the system not to give out my room number or name to anyone, which no one is supposed to do anyway but happens occasionally, when someone says it’s an emergency or acts sufficiently frazzled and unassuming. “But I should get to work. This creates breakage of the blood vessels and causes either a red or brown, semi-circular shape to appear on the skin. But my house key was missing from the keyring. It’s not about pre-parties, post parties, bachelor parties or the perfect picture. Sex is fun and exciting, but it’s also intimate — there needs to be a connection between the two parties. And, taking in awareness of my limbs, it would seem like there were none to be found in the whole state. Someone wanted me so much they were doing all this crazy, primal stuff. We’re done. Bad timing there. I assumed she was awake. We feel unease with conflict. The best thing about life is that tomorrow never happens, so realizing that helped me stop worrying so much about the future that I could genuinely enjoy everything that is happening today. Paying attention to moment-to-moment awareness is how I learned to manage my mind. When I closed my eyes, everything came back to me—the trauma, the painful goodbyes, the broken friendships, the unexpected deaths, the heartbreaking rejections. (THIS IS A 2 PART FICTION SERIES… 2ND PART COMES OUT IN 2 DAYS’ TIME). I was intimidated and figured you wouldn’t give me the time of day. What could’ve gone wrong? The fact that we are able to fight these battles within our own minds and not completely lose ourselves to the negativity every single day is a perfect example of just how strong and capable we truly are—we just have to do more mental strength training than others to make our inner demons more manageable. His picture was no longer a photo from the wedding – it was just a plain old selfie. My private parts are so wet and swollen with joy right now." I start off by seeing this drab, aging, overweight slob, and I’ll make a game out of drinking until he looks happy. I found this list in one of Raghini’s pockets.”. Know that you never have to settle for less than you deserve. I didn’t think it was adorable at all. We think that it’s right around the corner, and our whole lives are dedicated to finally arriving there. Everything that you need in order to get what you dream of is right within you, but you are just too busy waiting and looking for other things to happen for you that you can’t even realize the fact that you have the power to make amazing things happen for yourself. “My father gave it to me,” she said. I wish he would have found me first. He just holds him tight and rubs gentle circles on Taehyung back as he cries his heart out. Hightops do not go with that dress. It took years of developing emotional intelligence and really examining the core of who I was before I understood that it was completely within my control to change my story. Neither of which was helping his hangover. The reality is that she won’t come back to me, because she respects what you have. I had wanted it to end and he had threatened to kill himself. “Dhruv,” Tanya asked, “Are you seeing this too?”, “Look Mommy, the witch, she’s right there!”. I didn’t see anything special so I began to splash again until he told me to stop. "You make me feel so good, son." so I could use the time to study my notes during finals. He mimicked his behavior a lot. He pulled it gingerly out of his wallet and presented a tiny folded paper with identical tiny hearts on it. You should invite her to holiday parties with your coworkers so they can put a face to the name you keep talking about during every shift. It will not understand it because it does not have a capacity for understanding. Over the years it just became a fact of life; I even looked forward to the mysterious messages. We definitely will still have our daily challenges. Some kind of sick pervert might get you.” The cop let out a raspy laugh as he enjoyed his own joke. In fact, it’s probably going to be really hard. She shrugged, led me toward the doors, and paid our entrance fees. She’s an understanding person, but I didn’t blame her for the way she looked at me when I couldn’t find the note, the way something subtle changed in her expression. You don’t say what you said to anyone and expect them to carry anything but hatred for you. He became the entirety of my sense of safety. I don’t remember his words but I’d never forget his eyes looking at me. It’s not about the band, the envelopes, or the venetian-hour. We floated quietly waiting for the woman to make her way back to the beach but she never did. Dhaval has a form of sleep terrors. The water was completely dark, illuminated only partly by Chirag’s flashlight, and in the thrill of the night I did wonder if something would come up from the gentle waves. He fell asleep cuddling me. Shen Zhen particularly liked this depth too much and simply held the young girl’s slender waist, effortlessly lifting her body and releasing her continuously. Does she need help making bail?” A slight grin escaped my lips, “No, this will be her third one, so I think she has to stay for a while.”. They were the motorcycle boys from all my teen novels, the ones who came off as jerks but brought out a girl’s wild side. I promised myself I would have fun, even if it meant being slapped with a ridiculously high dry cleaning bill. Which is why if you say you love me, and you say you’re going to be mine and I yours, I expect you to choose me every day. “We paid ’em, didn’t we?”. You’ve had good chemistry for weeks. This is one of the hardest but most crucial steps, as oftentimes our lives are on autopilot as a function of our past, our environment, and our experiences. I didn’t stop, hurling myself again and again into the empty frame, smashing and driving each fragment of glass into my hands until there was nothing left but diamond dust. We rode a conversation down a river of whiskey and gin tonics, and let silences fill with the talk of others — old men with their books, old women with their heartbreak — until it was just the two of us and a lonely piano, sifting its way through a mist of cigarette smoke and hazy memories. Her name was Divine – which was kind of ironic the way his life turned out, he always thought. You found a cougar." “You know, I don’t even like whiskey,” I said. You have to believe that those things you’ve been wanting to feel aren’t lost forever, but rather lying dormant while you gather up the experiences and tools and strength to carry you through your life. I didn’t want to believe her, but it was already after midnight and my brain was getting fuzzy, so I decided to call it a night. It’s a good change…”. You’ve lost that privilege. I was (and still am) terrified of the pain that comes with caring so much, but after years on this road, I had an epiphany. Her face tightened as if in her own disbelief. And marriage. I can tell you've had a few already. He was wearing their daughter Pragati in a child carrier. I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. What situation, breakup, or makeup do you wish would have gone differently? “Mommy?” Dhruv’s small voice asked. I pulled away and finished removing my clothes. But little did I know that looks can fool you. That’s when the last thing I ever expected came out of her mouth. I know we all grew up hearing stories about these moments that happen to people all the time that change their lives and help them have these life awakenings. The screen illuminated only with the words “No Service.”. Don’t you dare tell me that there are lots of kids who look the same. In terms of raw numbers there was no contest; they just didn’t have the procreation power to match their soon-to-be new family. In its verses, you and all your broken parts will find a home. I didn’t know how to tell you that I was no longer in love with you. What does it matter? I felt the warm, moist, tightly pulled lip. Why? We chase it, but we can’t win. “Hello?” I called out to her. “Not real words anyway. I clicked over to his profile. Soon, my grandparents moved. What you’ve already faced? There is only that one spot in the entire world with the collection of all your memories and life experiences. It is the moonlight and the way that it glistens and pours itself around your room at 3 a.m., filling your body with magic. He’s a priest, she a bride on her wedding day. We were only able to get two done before the accident.”. Understand that their validation can only keep you afloat for so long and soon you’ll need more. Start right now and work on making your life everything you ever wanted it to be. It won’t change how I feel about someone — sex isn’t everything. “Lizzy (her word for Pihu) and I were talking last night.”, “We were trying to decide which of us was dead. It took several minutes for them to even remember their names. If I could play his game for a bit, would he calm down? When he was in his bed, I noticed him looking anxiously at the woman with the veil. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t do these things? It’s not selfish, but it is about you. If you only lived by your own standards? "It's impossible not to be," I said. Maybe he doesn’t want you to be so obsessed with timing and how others see you, maybe he wants you to break free from all these illusions and fantasies you have for yourself and learn how to live peacefully in reality. I can only give you a reality. You are here to create an impact and inspire people to find the courage to awaken their true selves. Walked up to our door, my heart hammering in my chest. The painting was of two boys sitting on a park bench; one of them in color, the other in black and white. Some would call it a guardian angel, but not me. when you went to club, when your crush said ‘hey/smiled’, when you bought a present for your parents, when you helped a stranger; soo.. these aren’t gonna end up too but atleast it. I stayed still and let my eyes adjust. I took three droppers full of melatonin this time, I knew there was no other way I’d sleep. The blanket was off the painting. I turn to see what caught her eye and am immediately reminded of what I’d been doing last night, pre-blackout, before I had hit the subway and headed across town for late night food and way too much alcohol. Fresh, expensive flowers and notes and letters about how much he cared for me. The wonder if they did everything that they could do before they walked away. It might have brought you relief, but it never brought you happiness. I popped in the movie Zootopia and when bedtime came, he was already starting his routine. To the man who’s so unsure if he’s on the right path but wants so badly to be sure because he has a whole family depending on him. Reaching out and striving for things that you think will fill your body with desire will only leave you feeling more dejected. If you’re not uncomfortable, you aren’t doing it right! If you aren’t ready to choose me, you aren’t ready to love me. He still did not listen. “Ronak!” she shouted, “Ronak! I uncovered the painting and the woman with the veil was right back where she was before. The ones who endure way more then the 40 hour work week so that we have all we need. We cheered our glasses, finished our last sips, and then parted ways. Are you going to sit there alongside me until I feel better again even if there is nothing you can do to rush along my progress? In the bottom-right corner, Tanvi had written the date and a title. It’s some Seneca shit from pioneer times, and it ain’t real.”, “It is real,” Mahesh said. Too much of a good thing can be poison. It’s not your fault when someone else can’t handle your success. “I’m just happy to see you, that’s all,” my voice said. She told me she could help me out if I really wanted. Never even dared to think it too loudly. “I love you, angel“ he says. “Yeah, I figured…” I looked up and she was gone. Even when I buried the softness, it was still there—I still cared. “They made a bunch of bad energy when we stole their land?”, Chirag scoffed. Born in West Bengal and raised in Gujarat,Suvrahadip Ghosh is an engineer turned writer.He loves dissecting words and got himself publishedin some major anthologies- including one with Durjoy Dutta.His other passions include Football, Animes, and Rap Music.Lionel Messi, Naruto, and Eminem being his biggest inspirations.He also loves getting inked.And the only thing he’s ever been careless about is his introduction. Today, the hangover is bad, and every leg that brushes mine brings on a wave of nausea. We feel pressured and don’t know why. "I just like older women, mom. That is not for someone else to decide, it is for you to decide. But it seems I lied. I’ve been crushing on a girl at work for a while. “Hey!” Tanya shouted, “Get the fuck out of my yard!”. More footsteps and then as quick as we heard it, they were gone. Wetting their hair. I finally called 911, they put me on hold and eventually disconnected me. My eyes blurred back and forth.

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